


Why He Stopped

by ThisColdSunset



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, characters aren't actually mentioned, they're just implied in a way, this be a poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:16:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisColdSunset/pseuds/ThisColdSunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is from Tsukki's perspective...<br/>I hope this isn't too shitey</p>
    </blockquote>





	Why He Stopped

**Author's Note:**

> This is from Tsukki's perspective...  
> I hope this isn't too shitey

I was young when I first met you,   
So very young…   
And so very stupid.   
I was cruel to you the first time I met you,   
And I hurt you many times afterwards.   
Yet you still told me that you loved me,   
And so I stopped.

 

I was a little older when there came days that I would try to say sorry,   
And some days I did say the words,   
But after a while I realised that no matter how many times I said sorry,   
I could never compete with the number of times that you apologised.   
And so I stopped.

 

Time had passed us by when you finally left me.   
It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did,   
Everyone leaves me in the end.   
I had always known you would leave,   
It was to be expected.   
I was left wondering what it would be like if you were still here,   
But the knives of your memories were still so sharp,   
Thinking about you hurt so much,   
And so I stopped.

 

I hadn’t thought that you would leave me like this,   
And I hadn’t known that it could hurt like this…   
I didn’t know.   
I was reminded of when we first met,   
When I was so young,   
And so stupid.   
I knew nothing,   
And I had tried so hard to know things,   
But knowing things was useless,   
And trying had become so pointless,   
And so I stopped.

 

Years and years later,   
I was so numb.   
Not thinking about you had become so easy,   
But without you to think about,   
There was nothing else.   
I was told to stop numbing myself to the hurt so many years after you left,   
Because you wouldn’t want me to be in such a state,   
And at the mention of your name,   
I was distracted from my diligent guarding of your memories,   
And so I stopped.

 

Now, all of these years later,   
I have finally come to visit you.   
Your favourite flowers gripped so tightly in my hand,   
I can feel the thorns piercing my palm,   
I can feel blood slicking the stems of the flowers,   
I can feel you watching me,   
From where you’ve been waiting for me this whole time.   
I knew you saw me,   
And I knew you were melancholy at the thought of my tears being held back for so long,   
And so I stopped.

 

It wasn’t meant to hurt so much.   
You weren’t meant to leave me like this.   
I didn’t mean to hurt you.   
It wasn’t meant to be like this.   
After stopping myself from doing so much,   
I was no longer moving.   
I had stopped so many times,   
And you hated it.   
And so I started.

 

I began crying,   
Because I had stopped so people wouldn’t think I was weak.   
I began remembering,   
Because I had stopped so I wouldn’t wince in pain at every little thing.   
I began knowing,   
Because I had stopped because knowing things hadn’t stopped you from leaving.   
I began thinking,   
Because I had stopped so you wouldn’t always be a ghost in the corner of my eye.

 

The one thing I stopped was hurting you,   
Because even though I had promised to never hurt you,   
I had been hurting you without thinking anyway.   
And so I stopped.

 

Now that you’re gone,   
You won’t keep apologising to me for no reason.   
With a smile, I realised that now it was my turn.   
Kneeling by your grave,   
I began whispering the words over and over,   
In the hope that one day we would be even,   
And one day you would forgive me.

 

I’m so sorry.


End file.
